the way life should be

We are spending some time in Vacationland--the beach, the lakes, the mountains. More soon!

merry christmas & happy new year

Bobby, Stella, and Mom at Grandma & Granddad's, Christmas 2010

D.P. and A.L., Fairfield Pike, 12/29/10

Grateful for these wonderful people in my life....

beating the retreat....again

It's hard to believe that it's been over two years since I last visited the Bon Secours Spiritual Center in Maryland. This is the third time that I've created my own "retreat"--this time I intended to spend a lot of time writing, but I've been distracted by various emotional upheavals and just life in general. I've been here since Monday afternoon, and yesterday I finally just decided this was my vacation and I would do my best to chill and enjoy this beautiful place. Just a few days left until the fall semester starts at FIT, so I'm taking it all in while I can.

P.S. My mom just went into the hospital with pneumonia and is on IV antibiotics. Last week the kids and I stayed with her and Dad in Ohio, and she started to feel sick at the end of our visit, but has gotten worse since then. Thoughts and prayers appreciated!

cincinnati homecoming

I'm in Ohio for a quick trip--yesterday I participated in a "Poets' Homecoming" reading at the University of Cincinnati, where I earned my master's and doctoral degrees. I was thrilled and honored to be part of a panel that included my old friend Jim Murphy, and new friends Kristin Naca and Lesley Jenike. Hearing their work, hanging out, and seeing so many wonderful people I don't see very often--well, it's been great.

Another perk has been staying at the Clifton House, an incredible B&B in Cincinnati's gaslight district, not far from campus. Nancy runs a lovely home, and I'm thrilled to be able to rest here for a little while.

I'm back to Springfield today for a little pre-Mother's Day time with my parents, then back to NYC tomorrow for some time with the kiddies.

i'm still here!

I've been totally swamped. I will try to bring you up to date little by little. Right now I'm desperately trying to finish a bunch of comments for my online students, while preparing to give the "First Books" talk at the Antioch Writers' Workshop in lovely Yellow Springs, Ohio.

Many thanks to the good people at Brother Bear's Cafe for the righteous java and unlimited wifi (I was literally there for seven hours nonstop yesterday, after a nice yoga class--that's a lot of Grateful Dead tunes)!

on the road again...

We're heading to Ohio today--my sister Katy's wedding is Saturday! We've got miles to go, but a nice white rental minivan (and portable DVD player) will get us there safely and soundly.

for small (?) favors

Bobby left yesterday for a Florida vacation with his uncle, aunt, cousins, and grandparents. Feeling extreme gratitude right now that I did not find out about the plane that crashed into the Hudson River until after I got the call from Uncle Mike saying that their plane (which left from LaGuardia) had landed safely. Also that at least one member of my family is able to avoid the frigid weather (not to mention going to Disney World)!

I was shopping in the Flatiron District and wondered why the streets were clogged with firetrucks and other emergency vehicles. Went blissfully on my way in search of warm clothing and a much-needed replacement for my shredded, ancient comforter. I was in Bed, Bath, & Beyond, as a matter of fact, when Mike called. And it wasn't until hours later, after lugging my parcels home and getting Stella off the bus, that I turned on the radio and heard the terrifying news. Unbelievable. What a miracle that all those on board survived.

Not even thinking about that flight to Chicago I'm taking in a few weeks...

random access memory: september song

Princeton, New Jersey, was like a town from a storybook. The campus with its stone buildings, literally ivy-covered. The fountain in front of the Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs. The libraries and laboratories, the famous architects, the English-style garden and the art museum with its eclectic collection and its one spectacular Van Gogh. The chapel--more like a cathedral, really--with brilliant stained glass, vast vaulted ceilings, a sense of reverence and stillness yet full of life. The Richard Serra sculpture, "The Hedgehog and the Fox," two tremendous panels between which you could hide, no one would see you while you walked through it, you could take someone in there and kiss them and no one would notice.

The shops and restaurants on Nassau Street--Labyrinth Books, Small World Coffee, the old hoagie shop and pizza place, the newer Thai and sushi and Mexican restaurants, the Blue Water Grill with its comfortable booths, casual elegance, and four stools at a counter in the back. You bring your own wine because licenses are few and far-between, the two of you just have to drink the whole bottle. The movie theater a real old-fashioned cinema with no commercials or trailers, just popcorn and soda and swingy padded seats, and the film that had a scene where one of the main characters attends a boozy, cigar-filled Princeton alumni dinner, bellowing with his classmates:
In praise of Old Nassau we sing,
Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!
Our hearts will give while we shall live,
Three cheers for Old Nassau.

The residential streets quiet in the soft dark, stars showing through carefully pruned trees, spacious houses presiding over tidy but comfortable lawns. The cars in their driveways, a green Beetle proclaiming Free Tibet and Obama '08.

The funny little train that goes back and forth to the Princeton Junction station, just two passenger cars, like a toy train, called "the Dinky" by the locals. The schedule and the time for departure, the return to the city, the lingering goodbye and yes, the tears, the embarrassing tears, the whistle and the steady turn of the wheels, the distance, the hopes, the blurred landscape turning from green and brown to gray, the beginning of autumn, the end of a beginning.

back in nyc

I made it back a bit ago and decided to jump online before I begin the prospective ordeal that is returning the rental car (in case you haven't heard, I had a minor accident a few weeks ago that resulted in the insurance company declaring the Honda minivan--2001, 160,000 miles--a total loss).

The kids and I had a great time with family and friends in Ohio and PA. The drives were, for the most part, uneventful (I managed somehow to keep the kids from killing each other in the back seat, and Stella only got out of her seatbelt a couple of times). We were much more comfortable than I'd expected due to a surprise upgrade from "full-sized" to "luxury"--they gave us a Dodge Charger, a huge black mobile that my brother David called a "mafia car."

As always, re-entry is a little hard. Fortunately, the touch of flu I picked up at the end of the week has been summarily dispatched by a new miracle drug--Tamiflu--and I feel almost normal, physically.

Perhaps I will head to the gym after the rental gauntlet. And a quiet evening at home before things start up, bright and early, at FIT tomorrow. I hereby resolve to post more frequently, even while the crazy semester is going on.

In the meantime, go to MacGregor's blog for a fantastic Robert Lowell poem.

puget sound bound

Next week I will be at historic Fort Worden State Park for the Port Townsend Writers' Conference. I get to spend a little time with friends in Seattle at either end, too.

I'm not doing a workshop--just a writers' retreat. And there's a wonderful movement studio right on the state park premises. I've been to Vancouver, for the AWP conference a few years ago, but never to Washington State.

I'm really excited. I'll feel even better after the 6 and a half hour flight is over, I'm sure, and I will able to see the fabulous work of my friend David in person.

Today I bought a huge suitcase and two new hoodies (emulating Kim's fashion sense, and also layering for the weather). Tomorrow it's laundry, a couple of errands, and time with the kids, who will be back from the Jersey Shore--before I leave on Saturday.

In the meantime, lots and lots of grading. (Hello, EN361 online students!!!)

NJ redux: the bus for us

So I figured out the best way to reach my destination in New Jersey: via the Port Authority! Yesterday I went to a wedding shower for my dear cousin Dana and took my first-ever bus trip out of the city. I was running late, as usual, so had to rush to grab a ticket and literally run up two flights of stairs and an escalator. I envisioned running after the bus as it was pulling away, but when I got to Gate 405 I saw a whole queue of passengers lining up to the door. They were somewhat amused by the crazy lady huffing and puffing and asking if this was the 46 West bus to Pine Brook.

It was, and the ride was smooth, quick, and uneventful. It was weird being dropped off by the side of a highway, but my Uncle Phil was waiting at the stop, and then whisked me away to the Valhalla Lake Club for a lovely brunch.

After the party I went back to Uncle Phil and Aunt Cheryl's house to hang out with the fam--I especially enjoyed spending some quality time with my cousin Shelley, who lives in Ohio. The bus home was just as convenient (although it showed up at the stop a bit late), and fortunately we didn't hit any traffic going into the tunnel. I think this will be one of my preferred modes of travel to and from the Garden State!

life as they know it

Well, it certainly has been an exciting weekend for us! Today Bobby, Stella, and I visited the home of three of my personal heroes: Michael Berube, Janet Lyon, and their amazing son, Jamie. Michael's book, Life As We Know It: A Father, A Family, and an Exceptional Child was one of the first things I read after Stella was born. I found it comforting and helpful on so many levels to read of their experience as intellectuals and academics whose second son was born with Down syndrome.

I'd been hoping to meet them ever since I realized they had moved to the town where my brother David lives. This weekend it finally worked out, and our Stella Bella had a grand time exploring their lovely home, with Jamie as tourguide. Michael and Janet generously shared experiences, advice, and coffee with me--and Jamie generously shared a stuffed doggie with Stella! He also performed feats of memory and, in the photo above, attempted to balance a plate of pepperjack cheese on his father's head. Truly a wonderful visit with an inspiring family.

harold and kumar got nothin' on me

I haven't seen the movie, but I can relate to the main characters' being lost on the highways and biways of our great neighboring state of New Jersey. It never fails: No matter how explicit and clear the directions, I simply cannot find my way around!

I learned of this deficiency while trying to get to family events in Bergen County and was painfully reminded as I roamed around the Woodbridge area yesterday trying to meet a friend for coffee. It took me almost as long to find the Starbucks on Route 1/9 as it had to get from the state line to Exit 10. But at least I got to spend a few minutes with my friend. And I got my latte.

beating the retreat

It's spring break, and here I am in Maryland for a few days, getting away from it all, whatever "it" is. Of course, so much of "it" comes with one wherever one goes. Sigh.

In any case, just spent a rejuvenating weekend with two of the smartest, kindest, coolest, dearest people I know: Jane and Ned. Many delightful hours of conversation about poetry, music, teaching, parenting, and a few other, less serious topics. I left with a head full of wisdom and a bookbag full of newly burned cds--Robyn Hitchcock, John Wesley Harding, Elliott Smith, etc.

Now I'm retreating on my own at a remote location in the countryside. I'll write more about it later--for now, enjoy the pond, which is right outside my window. Time for a hike!